here i sit. sitting in the office 45 minutes before i need to be here. i'm here before most teachers, kids for sure and i even pulled in before the principal. its very quiet and the heater is on behind me, making me nice and toasty. like everyday this week i'm here this early because of what's going on at home. its hard to spend time in a small one bedroom apt with someone that alternately looks at like you with sad, hurt, broken eyes and eyes that want to inflict a little, or a lot of pain of their own.
we had a chat last night..we had to. we have to have a plan. i know that he is still reeling from all of this..and no matter how much warning you have..it never seems to be enough. i get it. i understand and i can empathize. i'm a planner and he is not. i get that to. so when i asked him last night what his plan was..how were we going to get this done..this living together till he can move out thing i wasn't surprised "ok, i was sorta surprised" when he didn't have one. no plan. no clues, no ideas on what he was going to do next. now the control freak in me hears that and starts..you guessed it. FREAKING OUT! especially when he just sat there and looked at me with oceans of pain on his face...while i tossed ideas his way. the answer was NO to every suggestion i had. and maybe its to soon to expect anything out of him..i mean. the poor guy has got to be overwhelmed by all this. expecting something good and getting something way worse than he could have dreamed.
now i leave the house at 7:30 am everyday..work..go to the gym..and do my best to stay out of the apt as much as possible. its been working fairly well..but how long will i be able to keep this up? weeks? months? maybe. i've done something similar before, not so close a quarters but similar. i have my part time job and i can ask for more hours..there are classes to take and well hey..i can work on that six pack i've always wanted lol
11 months ago