For Better or Worse..I'm Back.

i know..i have been neglectful...no..i've been beyond neglectful and i'm sorry. its been almost a month since i made my ritual verbal purge on here and i feel crappy about leaving you all hangin. i feel like i've let you guys down..my followers and general random blog readers. but most of all and for selfish reasons of my own. i missed the escape..the honesty and the feeling of release when i spill my proverbial guts to a bunch of strangers and friends. it just feels good. "so why did you stop?" you ask. well..it just sorta happened...scuffing foot and looking at the ground. no..to be honest..i'm a big fan of honest. the boyfriend "previously posted about" and i moved in together in the middle of december. things did not go well. oh no..the move was fine..no hic ups..weather was ok..cold but not terrible. the truck was good..traffic was good. the move was good. everything is good..right? no..its what happened after the move that caused me to stop blogging. for some odd..total unknown reason....the minute the last of his stuff was moved in..we lost all ability to communicate effectively with each other. don't get me wrong..we had our problems before this but communicating didn't seem to one of them.

now..you would think that blogging would be the perfect way to release pent up frustration and confusion but the boyfriend receives emails when i create a new post...and of course can access it at anytime via the net. so you see my dilemma. "how to post what i'm feeling, release my frustration and confusion and still make it PC enough for the boyfriend to read?"

so i didn't write

i didn't release that frustration

and i'm still confused..very, very confused

so maybe blogging about it is the key. maybe spilling my guts here might have a positive effect on what's been going on. maybe..and i know there's alot of maybe's i'm not listing but maybe..things just might get better. don't know..but i'll keep you posted. :)